I need to start out by saying the coverage of last night’s 2016 Grammys red carpet was abysmal. I don’t know what happened to E!’s coverage, but after an hour they basically pulled out of the carpet and interviewed Big Sean for like 15 mins inside the Staple Center – duh f*ck? I don’t care about an interview that can be aired on E! News the following day with Big Sean. I tune in specifically to see what people are wearing. That is it. Out of my frustration, I turned to CBS, the channel the Grammys was aired on, and all they had was a bunch of dim witted reporters talking to about the categories and who was nominated with occasional dude musician interviews. I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE DUDES! I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY ARE SAYING. And apart from a select few who really looked good, I don’t really give a flying F about what they are wearing either. I want to see the ladies! Whether it’s a dress, jumpsuit or tux, I want to see what they have on, their hair and their make-up.
I get it…there weren’t many mega stars on the carpet. It seems like after Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez showed up in the beginning the networks gave up. I don’t know…I felt like the whole carpet was C-list amateur hour. Whatever, I guess…
On to what you showed up for, the fashion!!! Unlike the Golden Globes (see my review), there were no cohesive themes or trends. It was kind of a mishmash of all sorts of shit, which is fine, if only it were more interesting. So, I’m just gonna dive, look by look – Here we go!
Ellie Goulding in Stella McCartney: I’m starting out with one of my favorites. I loved this whole look last night. The top gives me Gwyneth Paltrow 1999 Academy Awards Dress vibes, only with better material. Then it turns into a sexy simple slip dress from the front. You know me, I’m big on fit, but I really loved how this wasn’t body con, form fitting. The fact that it was kinda loose and casual made it look effortless, especially coupled with the messy 80’s swoop hair. Then she turns around, and there is a chain party in the back! It’s unexpected, creating a fun detail in stead of just the usual low-cut back. Then necklace pulls the sparkle from the back forward, framing her perfect hair and make-up. Absolutely loved this!
Lady Gaga in custom Marc Jacobs: I can’t get Blades of Glory out of my head when I look at this. I saw on insta a meme comparing Swift’s performance costume to that movie, but this really looks like she should be in some kind of Disney on Ice show. Can’t you picture her gliding along the ice in this? With her orange red hair and skirt of the dress flowing behind her? I know she was doing the David Bowie tribute, so I get it. It’s beautifully constructed. There really isn’t much else to say because it’s more of a costume than fashion.
Adele in Givenchy: This is Adele’s award show uniform. She wears various forms of dark 3-quartered length sleeve A-line dresses. I do particularly like this one. I think she looks great in it. It’s very flattering. The shoulder detail and beading elevates it from super basic black. I wish her cat eye was a lil more signature cat eye than we usually see from her. I also want just tiny bit more volume out her hair. Other than those two things, her whole look is pretty nice.
Arianna Grande in Romona Keveza: Red is REALLY hard to do on a RED carpet. On such a petite person like Grande, the ketchup red mermaid and train combo overwhelms her. I actually don’t think the bustier is very flattering on her either. She is a TINY girl, and this is making her just look short. I know this is a problem for her because she is so small. I’m not really sure how to fix except maybe find a stylist that works well with shorter chicks? Also, it’s time to MOVE ON FROM THIS HAIR! All I want from her going forward is a new hairstyle. I know that’s not going to happen so I will just have to deal with it…
Carrie Underwood in Nicholas Jebran: I feel like Carrie got confused…Maybe she forgot she was going to the Grammy’s and thought she was going to the White House Correspondents Dinner with republican hair. Seriously, her hair could double for a Fox News anchor (coughMegynKellycough). The dress is pretty; however, it’s not Grammys…it’s like charity gala with a lil Jolie leg. The make-up is flawless of course. She always has beautiful make-up. Finally, the necklace, it’s gorgeous, yet I feel like she felt obligated to wear it because her husband, Mike Fisher, got it to her the day before for Valentines day……so I’m not sure this was her first necklace choice since it’s slightly too long for the dress. It’s nice she wore it though! Thought that counts (shrug lol).
Ciaria in Alexandre Vauthier Haute Couture: This is so blah. We get it Ciara – you have a great body. This is no imagination, no fashion, just I want to show off my body. And if that’s your jam, cool. My thing isn’t so much the leg, I actually kinda like the leg with the slinky bow. It’s the club halter top, cheap sequins and overplayed shoes that I have problems with. I hate the weird gathered black droopy boob thing she has going on. The fabric and sequins look like they are from that slutty stretch knit homecoming dress your mom wouldn’t buy you in high school. I really hate it when the halter looks like in needs to be pulled up, but they tie it lower to be sexy. That’s something you did college with your Forever21 top to show off your cleave. This sucks. Sorry. Her hair and make-up are great on the flip side…not enough to save this cop-out dress.
Demi Lovato in Norisol Ferrari: This is Demi right now – Confident. I’m obsessed with that song. I like this look! She was there for the Lionel Richie tribute which she wore a GREAT white blazer so I enjoyed that her two looks were cohesive and not trying to take away from what she was there for. She’s serious now, and this is the first time she’s ever been to the Grammys. Even though this is a simple look, this is a real grown-up fashion moment for her. Not to mention, the fit of the blazer is outstanding. The slit and chain add some fun while keeping her make-up clean and fresh. Love this for serious, confident Demi!
Florence Welch in Gucci: You are probably going to disagree with me on this one, BUT I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! She looks like a 70’s goddess in this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the sun, moon and stars. I even love the sequins bow. It’s so beautiful. This is Florence style. She is never going to show up in a strapless mermaid dress. I love her for it. This look couldn’t have been more perfect for the night.
Kacey Musgraves in Armani Privé: So in theory I should hate this dress. I hate ombre dresses. I hate this kind of texture on dress. I especially loathe tiered dresses. So I should like really despise this dress; however, I don’t…I think maybe it’s her purple matte lip, 90’s eye make-up and high pony? The fit of the dress helps a lot, too. The top of the dress fits her perfectly. I do like this – I really do. I can’t even explain why.
Kaley Cuoco in Naeem Khan: I am SO glad her hair is growing back. This LOB style is really working for her. She looks great! It’s the perfect “presenter at the Grammys” outfit – fun, flattering fit and a jump suit! Only lil complaint is the hem is slightly too long. Everything is perfection on her.
Von Miller and Anquan Boldin: I don’t know who they are wearing – I researched and couldn’t find it. Since they are football players, it’s probably custom. But I am LEGIT OBSESSED with Von Miller’s hologram blazer. His whole look from the lucite frames to white kicks is epic. He nailed it. Anquan looks really good as well! Super hot in a great suit. And OMG that WATCH! Holy bling batman!! These two footballers nailed!
Meghen Trainor in Edie Parker: I’m only posting this because Delta Burke called, and she wants her look back. I just wanted to say that. If you aren’t #blessed enough to know who Delta Burke is, google her. The look is all right. It’s not a moment, but there really isn’t anything wrong with it, except those shoes.
John Legend in Gucci & Common: Couldn’t figure out who Common was wearing – sorry. These two look so good together! I think it’s great when men step up their looks and wear interesting tuxes, especially to more creative events like the Grammys. These two hit it out of the park! Kudos!
Selena Gomez in Calvin Klein: Well, her intention was good; however, this is just a prom dress circa 2007-2009. I remember my lil cousin’s friends all wearing dresses just like this one. Obviously she looks hot in this, but I just can’t get over the Wet Seal look of the top of the dress (and that it needs to be pulled up). The sequins aren’t helping either. They are taking it from prom to pageant. This is not my favorite look. Her lightened hair color looks really fresh. It softens her features. She’s gorgeous and hot, but this is just not wow enough for me.
Zendaya in Dsquared2: UGH I HATE THIS! It’s not because she’s in a pant suit either. Menswear can be so amazing on the carpet. This is not done well. The suit is a sloppy mess. When doing menswear, the tailoring has to be perfection. The suit is riddle with pulling and gaps which are only accentuated by the cheap fabric. To top it all off, she had to put that stupid oxford on underneath. It looks like a schoolboy’s uniform, not a couture tuxedo shirt. Terrible. I wish I didn’t even have to talk about this shitty mullet hair. So guess what, I’m not going to because it’s shitty mullet hair – paige boy in the front and Randy Travis in the back. DUMB!
Taylor Swift in Atelier Versace: Well, she doesn’t have pants on…I’m over this on her. I’m over the “crop top/cut-outs, no pants because I have great legs look”. She does one or the other or both on the carpet lately. Last night she pulled off both. It’s kinda like Ciara – she needs something new. If she keeps doing this, she’s going to burn people out with it. Now on to the elements of the dress. The satin fabric is nothing special. The color blocking has been done. Awkwardly…one of her friends, Emma Stone, actually did it better at the 2014 Met Gala. Weird that she decided to do something that one of her friends have already done way back in 2014 which is basically like a decade ago in the fashion world. On top of twining her friend, some other musician, Kimberly Schlampman, actually twinned her on the carpet that night. SUPES AWKWARD! That’s cringe worthy when you dress the same as a person that resembles a crazy aunt. Her new bob is so Michelle Pfeiffer during scar face. Other comparisons are Anna Wintour. Either way, hair has never been her strong suit so I’m mildly indifferent on it. The red lip trout pout isn’t winning me over either. Sorry Tay…this is not my fave.
Now to conclude my Grammys Fashion Review – BEST & WORST DRESSED!
TIE!! I couldn’t decide between Ellie Goulding and Von Miller. I love both so much!
Zendaya and her dumb hair!!! UGH THAT HAIR IS SO FUG! The suit is not doing her any favors either.
And that’s a wrap on the 2016 Grammys my friends! Stay tuned because I have two more carpets to review. They are BIG ones – THE OSCARS & concluding my red carpet season with the Met Gala!!!!! Can’t wait for the next ones!
Wet Hair, Don’t Care